I purchased new shoes for my latest trip to Colombia but I decided to take my comfortable old shoes instead. There’s an analogy there somewhere.
Unfortunately after trekking through the Amazonian jungle the old shoes couldn’t take it. By the end of the journey multiple holes appeared in the soles, plus after soaking in the water of the Amazon the shoes become a soggy mess. A soggy stinky mess.
After 4 days they still hadn’t dried out and with the odor of stinky stagnant swamp water still emitting from the damp shoes, I am sure people were questioning my personal hygiene.
This required a new quest.
On the advice of a friend of a friend of my Uber driver Carlos, it was decided the best bet to find a 12 and a half size shoe in Medellin (apparently Colombians have small feet) was an area called El Hueco in Centro Medellin.
El Hueco covers a 30 city block area and is a labyrinth of over 12,000 shops that employs over 45,000 people. One square city block contains just shoe vendors.100’s of shops lining narrow crisscrossing aisles, each displaying 100’s of shoes.
The hunt for the elusive zapatos gringos grandes, it would not be an easy quest, for I would need to traverse into new unknown territories, facing daunting obstacles and sometimes danger.
Many a local and ex-pat warned of the danger of Centro Medellin for the untrained gringo. Yet after years of research and traveling through out Mexico, Europe and the Times Square of the 80’s, I knew how to reduce my risks of being a victim of crime.
As my Uber driver Carlos dropped me off in the front the entrance to zapatolandia, I went into survival mode. Wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a faded jacket with multiple pockets, some with zippers and a ball cap, I attempted to blend in.
Money strategically placed in multiple pockets and in my shoe, phone hidden in an inside pocket, no jewelry or watch, all in an attempt to make myself less of a target. I even carried an old cellphone in my front pocket as a decoy.
Yet with my 6′ 2″ frame and a face of a gringo, I had to deploy additional tactics. Eyes forward, walking with purpose, perhaps with a little crazed glint in my eyes, avoiding any verbal greeting in my direction.
After 10 minutes I became a little disoriented traversing through the maze of Adidas, Nike, Converse, Gucci and possibly every brand known to mankind Sales clerks manned the entrance of each of the 100’s of shops attempting to make eye contact with every passerby and utilizing their own unique opening pitch.
I knew I had to make my move, speaking in rehearsed Spanish I inquired where might I find the elusive zapatos gringos grandes. The clerks looking down at my large stinky shoes would smile and shake their heads no.
Finally a clerk to pointed to another store and told me to find Josè.
I found Josè and inquired about the elusive zapatos gringo grande. He slowly walked around me closely visually analysing my sticky shoes. He then asked in Spanish, “doce y media”? Si! I replied happily. He was definitely a zapotos expert, I did indeed wear a 12 and a half.
He signaled he would be right back. Ten minutes later in returned with two styles of shoes. One a pair of Under Armour and the other Nike. He also had photos of 3 other types of shoes.
Apparently out the 10s of thousands shoes in El Hueco these were the only pairs in dose y media available, possibly in all of Medellin or in South America.
I liked the Nikes, they were lightweight and kind of cool. I tried them on but they seemed too tight. Josè scratched his head looking puzzled. On further examination I found there was paper still lodged in the toe area. Jose the zapotos expert, laughed with relief and negotiating began. He assured me the shoes were authentico Nikes.
I had no way to know, but the label stated they were made in Vietnam. Knock off or not they’re probably unfortunately made by underpaid former farmers in the same factory.
He gave me a price and after 5 seconds of negotiating I agreed. (I never was good at haggling.) I am sure I paid the gringo price which is at least twice of what a Colombian would pay.
But I was elated I had found the elusive zapatos gringo grande.
My journey was complete. Now it was time for a well deserved siesta.